Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
