oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
