You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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