Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
