three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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