is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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