I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize