We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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