so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize