So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
