i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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