Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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