You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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