why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
