their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
