Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
