we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
