i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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