I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I lost the right to judge tonight
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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