bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
