Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
