Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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