"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
