i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
