Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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