I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
