Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
you mean i was at the winter classic?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize