Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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