Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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