just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
