I CAN MOONWALK!
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
