i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
