Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
