My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
