I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
