First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
