Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
