yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
