dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
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