Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
found the other keg... it's in the tree
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
