i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
