I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
