I feel like abortions should bother me more
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
