Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
