Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
