I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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