Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
