so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
