I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
