I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
