your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Randomize
