i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
