where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
