The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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