i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
