you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
