you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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